Simple Friday Five

kathrynzj over at RevGalBlogPals writes:
We're in the midst of 'it' and I'm hoping that it is not just me who is starting to get a bit overwhelmed. So for today I am asking for five quick picks of things that are good in your life. And as a bonus, 1 pick for a thing you could do without. If you want to describe them? Great. If not? That's fine too.

well, this is my second Easter, and I think it's been more frantic than the first because I was so prepared for last year to be overwhelming!

Things that are good in my life:

1. Kitties.  3 pound kitties who come and sit in my lap and climb on the keyboard or just sleep in the chairs in my study while I'm working.
2. Chocolate brownies -- made them for the lenten study last night and am enjoying the leftovers today!
3. Spring birds at the feeder outside my study window (in the snow, but we'll ignore that bit!)
4. Sermons that come together on Friday!!!
5. Tea, Earl Grey, Hot

and things I could do without: feeling puny with way too much to do.

Friday Five: We Who Sing Pray Twice

MaryBeth at RevGalBlogPals says:

Music is a part of the human experience, and part of religious traditions the world over. It is evocative and stirring, and many forms of worship are incomplete without it.

Our title comes from a quote popularly attributed to St. Augustine: "He who sings prays twice." A little Googling, however, indicates that Augustine didn't say exactly that. In fact, what he said just doesn't fit well onto a t-shirt. So we'll stick with what we have.

"Singing reduces stress and increases healthy breathing and emotional expression. Singing taps into a deep, age-old power available to all of us. When we find our voice, we find ourselves. Today, sing like you mean it." And let's talk about the role music plays in your life and worship.

1) Do you like to sing/listen to others sing? In worship, or on your own (or not at all?)

Absolutely! even when my vocal chords aren't involved, there is almost always a song in my head.

2) Did you grow up with music in worship, or come to it later in life? Tell us about it, and how that has changed in your experience.

Always had it. I know the words to many of the great old hymns and can have great difficulty with some of newly rewordings, especially when they change the meaning. I also love the ones that I know the harmony line for, I love the soaring joy of adding harmony!

3) Some people find worship incomplete without music; others would just as soon not have it. Where do you fall?

Worship is not complete without music. Unfortunately, I currently serve a church with no choir, and not a great deal of love for singing. but I sing enthusiastically, anyway!

4) Do you prefer traditional music in worship, or contemporary? That can mean many different things!

yes. I love the "sung theology" of the old hymns, and I detest the new 7/11 choruses. But some folks play the old songs too slowly; and many new praise songs have great depth and meaning (just try explaining why this song works/won't work to a musician who only cares about the tune!) Frankly, I think we need both.

5) What's your go-to music ... when you need solace or want to express joy? A video/recording will garner bonus points!

It depends on the day. Since we sing mostly hymns, I tend to listen to KLove. When I'm getting contemporary music in church I listen to hymns in the car!

Today, it's a this kind of day:

Friday Five decisions

SongBird at RevGalBlogPals posits the following Friday Five:
Since I've been in the midst of a discernment process, I've done a lot of reflecting on how we make decisions. But don't worry, I'm not going to ask you to reveal a dark story about a poor decision, or a self-flagellating story about an embarrassing one. Let's keep it simple and go with five word pairs. Tell us which word in the pair appeals to you most, and after you've done all five, give us the reason why for one of them.

Here they are:

1) Cake or Pie (Fruity! although neither is gluten-free :( )
2) Train or Airplane -- as much as I flew for business for 15 years, I still don't like to fly. the crowds, the insanity, and the queasy part.
3) Mac or PC -- well, betamax wins again :) I might have to look into a mac once Logos finishes their Mac version, though. I did use a Lisa for a while back in 84...
4) Univocal or Equivocal -- oooh. Equivocal can be more fun, layers of meaning and such, but lately, especially in the church, we're talking past one another when we have different definitions and can no longer understand one another. I use analogies a LOT.
5) Peter or Paul -- or Mary! Sorry, smart aleck got the better of me.

Try not to pull on the big cat's tail when you answer. :-) Mreow!

Summertime Friday five

Today's Friday Five over at RevGalBlogPals invites us to share five things we love--or don't--about summer.

1. Love: Blackberries -- the edible kind, not the cell phone kind! I used to love to go to the hill behind my great-grandmother's house and pick them! I'd come home with as much on my face as in the bucket (more in my belly!) and Mom would make cobbler. YUM! I also remember one day at the end of school, when I was 6 (?) I was walking home, which included a short stretch of dirt road which had, you guessed it, BLACKBERRIES! I got home around 4:30, Mom was frantic, I was confused. I hadn't gone anywhere but straight home. The fact that it took me an extra hour because I was picking blackberries didn't register on a little mind.

2. Don't Love: heat and humidity. I am a native Floridian, but hey, we Floridians know what AC is. These northerners don't realize that at 85 degrees and 75%+ humidity, one should have AC. Especially in churches and manses (that last bit could be personal prejudice).

3. Love: Vacation in the mountains. I'm headed to Presbyterian Mecca next week over the fourth of July weekend and a few extra days in the NC mountains. I spent several summers of my youth at a summer camp right down the road from PM, so it's kind of a homecoming.

4. Don't Love: Did I mention heat and humidity? We've moved services to 10 instead of 11, but it doesn't really help. I'm not wearing the Geneva gown, but I still wear a blazer, but maybe not this week. 88 predicted for Sunday. But I get more comments about my outfit than the sermon when I'm not wearing the gown... Do men deal with this? don't answer that!

5. Love: Veggies from my garden. OK. I was late planting because of the move, so I'm not yet harvesting, but the zucchini has blossomed and it looks like I have a couple of tiny okra pods, so, soon.

"I'm Late" Friday Five

Jan over at RevGalBlogPals says: I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for a very important date!

As I opened up my computer this morning, I directly went to my blog and RevGals to see what the newest Friday Five would be! Nothing was here, which seemed odd. Then I went to look at the calendar and counted the Fridays, and it is the THIRD Friday! How did that happen so quickly? It's my turn, so here's a quickie:

1. Do you tend to be a late person or one who is timely, arriving on time or earlier?
I tend to be a bit early, prevents the late thing.

2. Have you forgotten anything of importance lately?
yes. I'm still getting into the rhythm of a new position and getting settled into the house. Some things are dropping through cracks. Working on getting that solved. not there yet. Luckily I was forgiven by the Ladies whose meeting I missed.

3. Is procrastination your inclination? Why or why not?
For things I don't like to do, yes. sometimes on other things -- the sermon is not yet done, and here I am, playing the Friday five!

4. Do you like schedules or spontaneity? Which works best for you?
mostly spontaneity, but with a structure -- so schedules, but not rigidly so.

5. How do you stay on track with the various things you need to, people you must meet, etc., etc.?
See #2 above. :)

BONUS: Whatever comes to mind about forgetfulness or lateness.
I forgot what I was going to write and now I've gotta run before I'm late.... :)

MomPriest over at RevGalBlogPals posits the following for this week's Friday five....

For this Friday Five let's ponder the various ways we work out (or not), physically, spiritually, and/or psychologically.

1. Do you work out physically, spiritually, or psychologically? (I'll let you define what that might mean to you)
I do not work out physically -- I'm an Immagunna who never does. Spiritually/psychologically? Daily devotions and weekly sermons put me in contact with the Word which I probe and which probes me in return. I'm in my first call as a pastor, so all the things I have to deal with in the congregation system require me to examine my reactions and motivations and turn them over to God (usually multiple times because I keep taking them back) so, yeah, i think I'm getting a work out here.

2. Are you more inclined to join a gym, or a book club?
Book Club. Definitely. Now that I'm out of seminary I can read for my own pleasure!

3. Are you more inclined to read self-help books like Gail Sheehy's "Passages" or spiritual books like Richard Rohr or Theresa of Avila? And if so, what is your favorite?
Spiritual books. I just re-read Yearning by Craig Barnes (which helps keep all this "not quite good enough" in perspective) and read the Relational WORD.

4. Are you a loyal fan of a sports team? Or do you join the bandwagon when the local team is winning? And, if so, which one?
Gators. 'nuff said. Been a fan since I was in a onesie, back when they could scarcely get a win in a game, much less a season!

5. Or do you lean more toward having a favorite theologian/Spiritual writer or self help author and if so, who? And, why.
I have not settled on a favorite, still reading many.

Bonus: What was the last play-off series you watched and did your team win?
NCAA football and, uh, that would be a no.

travel Friday Five

Songbird at RevGalBlogPals gives us the following Friday Five: By the time you're reading this, I'll be en route to a Great Big City to see my son in a play. I'll go by car and bus and train and no doubt cab and maybe even subway. Thus, our Friday Five.

1) What was the mode of transit for your last trip?
RV. We've had the RV for about 12 years now, and we took it on a long trip this past summer, with the cats, to visit my presbytery of care and get examined and blessed to look for a call, to Atlanta to shmooze at a national event in search of a call, to visit my family and preach in the church where I was baptized and confirmed, and then back up through Presbyterian Mecca in NC and back to current abode. 5 weeks total, although 2 weeks were a little more spread out in the family's house on the river.

2) Have you ever traveled by train?
Yes, When I was a young lass, my Girl Scout troop took the train to Savannah to visit the Daisy Gordon Low home. As a business person, I took the train several times from DC to NY for business trips. Much more pleasant and efficient that flying for my locations.

3) Do you live in a place with public transit, and if so, do you use it?
yes and no. It doesn't tend to go where I want to without lots of transfers.

4) What's the most unusual vehicle in which you've ever traveled?
hmmmm. Here, I am boring. I don't even have any unusual cars to reference.

5) What's the next trip you're planning to take?
A week from today, over to my church of care (5 hours each way) to be ordained.

If you were a ....

Jan at RevGalBlogPals offers up the following Friday Five:

In EFM this week, our question was, "If you were a color, what would you be?" So that's where this Friday Five comes from, at least its jumping off place.

1. If you were a color, what would you be?
Deep, amethyst PURPLE





2. If you were a flower (or plant), what would you be?
A mesquite tree. they can grow with little water or nutrients, they're really bent and twisted by their environment, but they are also doggedly strong, long lasting and tenacious. And they make good BBQ!






3. If you were an animal, what kind would you be?
a cat. but what kind? a Florida cougar, smaller cousin to the mountain lions of the west, critically endangered, yet living free in the wilds of Florida (and yes, there are wilds in Florida!)

4. If you were a shoe, what type would you be?
shoes? well, either practical (naot) or better yet, NONE!

5. If you were a typeface, which font would you be?
Well seminary leads me to answer Hebraic, but I think I’ll go with Dauphin. Just enough individuality, but you can still read it! (successfully copying in with the fonts is beyond my blogger know-how)

I have been called

The church Committee and I have been pretty certain we were meant for each other for 3 months. The Congregational Meeting and vote was this past Sunday. I preached on Isaiah 43 1-7 and told them that God loves them, calls them and considers them precious; then I left the sanctuary while they had the congregational meeting and vote.

It was not unanimous. It might be too much to ask for unanimous, but it would have been nice.

Someone brought up 1 Timothy.

7 of the 48 who stayed voted against the call. I want to say voted against me, but it's not. Not really. It feels very personal, but it's not.

The moderator (a representative of the presbytery's Committee on Ministry) brought me the numbers and asked me if I wanted to accept the call under these conditions. I paused. I felt drenched in the cold shower of disappointment and hurt, but I told him it didn't change my sense of God's call to me to go to this place.

It's bitter sweet.

I have a call.

Time to brush up on my biblical apologetics for women in ministry.

Oh, and I have to go before Presbytery in a week. They'll want to think about a vote that was almost 20% "no" and whether I can successfully serve in that environment.

Sally from Eternal Echoes, hosts the RevGalblogPals Friday five today, and she says:

As I prepare this post I am aware that it will be posted on New Years Day. We stand at the beginning of 2010 looking not only at a New Year, but at a new decade full of promise and possibilities. For some of us this will be exciting, but others will approach it with trepidation and probably most of us stand on this threshold with a mix of emotions and reactions.

It is at this time of year that many (British) Methodist Churches celebrate their Annual Covenant Service, a service that will include this prayer:

I am no longer my own but yours,
Put me to what you will,
rank me with whom you will;
put me to doing,
put me to suffering;
let me be employed for you,
or laid aside for you,
exalted for you,
or brought low for you;
let me be full,
let me be empty,
let me have all things,
let me have nothing:
I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
to your pleasure and disposal.
And now glorious and blessed God,
Father , Son and Holy Spirit,
you are mine and I am yours.
May it be so forever.
Let this covenant now made on earth
be fulfilled in heaven. AMEN

This prayer is said every year, and offers every member an opportunity to renew their covenant with God. This is no soft or easy prayer, it states in the company of others our willingness to worship God come what may, not that we should become doormats, but that we place God above all else. (And every year if we are honest we have to acknowledge that we fail).

With this prayer in mind I bring you this Friday Five:

1. What will you gladly leave behind in 2009?
unemployment :) OK, I graduated from seminary in May, but I have been unemployed for the first time since high school, in 1978. 7 months with no real daily purpose and activities has been mentally draining.

2. What is the biggest challenge of 2010 for you?
Beginning my first call as a Minister of Word and Sacrament. Writing a sermon every week, getting to know the new folks, trying not to step into too many unseen piles of fertilizer. My first wedding, funeral, baptism, etc. I'm coming off a successful career and starting back at the beginning, totally new to the job and expectations so I have to find my voice as a pastor.

3. Is there anything that you simply need to hand to God and say "all will be well, for you are with me"?
see above :) Without God, #2 would be impossible!

4. If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?
becoming their pastor in truth, not just in title and paycheck.

5. Post a picture, poem or song that sums up your prayer for the year ahead....

Could it be?

I haven't posted in a long while. I didn't have much to say, but now I ask prayers of all my RevGalBlogPals -- I preach my candidating sermon on 10 January with the congregational meeting/vote to follow. It's not the first call church I was looking for -- that would have been much closer to my family, with better finances, a building in better condition, and all those other things we would like for our church to have :) -- but it IS where God is calling me.

It's part time (for now at least) because giving and attendance are down in the 18 months since their pastor of 13 years left; but it does include a manse and utilities, so, with care, the money should be sufficient. Membership is around 140, attendance around 70 (not sure how many of those are just no-shows and how many are homebound). They have an interim, but I get the impression from several of the PNC that they just need to be shown that they are still loved and not abandoned, and still worthy of a REAL pastor (they're almost at the point of not being able to afford an ordained Minister).

I'll be preaching on the Isaiah text for the 10th: I have called you by name and you are mine...you are precious in my sight and honored, and I love you.

Friday Five Do Nothing Edition

Sally at RevGalBlogPals writes:
I am reading a wonderful little book for Advent it's title: "Do nothing Christmas is Coming!"

So this week's Friday Five is simple.

List Five things you won't be doing to prepare for Christmas.

And while you are doing nothing play the bonus, put your feet up and listen to your favorite Advent Carol, and post it or a link to it...

so, what am I NOT doing...

1. I am not preaching, because, although the PNC and I decided back on 12 October, this is a slow process and the fat lady has not yet sung.
2. I am not buying a lot of presents because, well, I just finished 3 years of seminary and am not yet employed (and DH is on short term disability). (Although buying an old goat in Dad's name is an attractive option even if he doesn't get the joke)
3. I am not decorating, because both DH and I are temporarily partially incapable and we're probably going to skip town anyway--to go see the families for Christmas on this last Christmas I'll be free to travel (God willing!).
4. I am not singing in the choir, reading or otherwise involved in the Christmas service, for the first time in lo, these many years.
5. I'm not cooking or baking or whatever. I'll go to Mom's house for Dinner! (I'll go to Dad's, too, but Step-Mom doesn't get the gluten thing and can't be bothered, so I won't eat there.)

Christmas carol? I'd like to say "My Christmas" by Brett Williams, but I can't find it on YouTube. it's a hoot, if you can find it!

I like so many carols, and I'm a choir geek, so I sing the tenor line as we walk through stores (and not just to embarrass my husband!). But today, I'll choose a modern carol: "Strange Way to Save the World" by 4Him

wisdom for the call search process

searching questions

OK, so I don't post often. I'm an unrepentant introvert which means I'm more lurker than commenter and very rarely Blogger. But I want to lay a question out there in the blogosphere:

What did you wish you had known about the church before you accepted a call?

in other words, what should I be asking these committees? I finally got a nibble (after 3 months and WAY too many rejections). I've checked out the church's basic statistics with the national judicatory, so I know numbers for membership, attendance, giving, etc. But what questions do you ask when you're feeling out a call? and which ones do you ask, but later in the process (could I see a copy of your budget?)

A meditation on Psalm 130

I had a fun time wrestling with the text this week. It's sinking in that I am unemployed; a couple more rejection letters came; longterm frustrations with DH recurring; some sort of bug dropping my serotonin just to magnify everything else; and then my grandmother (not unexpectedly) died. I think I needed the sermon more than the congregation, but it's not a bad pulpit supply lesson -- although perhaps a bit more teachy than preachy.

When I began seminary three years ago, I didn’t have a very good knowledge of the psalms. I knew snippets from here and there, after all, they in all sort of songs we sing! I had memorized the 23^rd, the 100^th, and the 1^st; but I didn’t have the depth and breadth of understanding of the psalms that I had of much of the rest of the Bible. After all, they’re so…. Different. These are the emotions and prayers and hymns of people from thousands of years ago. This is the age of rational, "just the facts ma’am", study. And they’re Poetry. And poetry loses something in the translation. What can 4000 year old poetry tell me about God? or about me? I was a computer science major. An engineer. I didn’t go for those emotional bits of the Bible.

Then, last summer, while I was doing a chaplaincy internship at UPMC, I encountered a woman in the hospital who was facing a terminal diagnosis. This woman had been taught that to express any uncertainty or fear was a lack of faith. That it was an insult to God to have doubts and fears. So I took her for a walk through the psalms.

The Psalms are a treasure trove of emotion: great joy, great sadness,great anger, great despair, determination, and thanksgiving. The full spectrum of human emotion. Because God made us to have emotions and God created out bodies with adrenaline and serotonin and endorphins and all sorts of hormones that run wild with those emotions. God expects us to have emotions including fear and even despair. Just look at David, a man after God’s own heart. Look at some of the psalms he wrote. OY! That’s emotion. The psalms help us give voice to our emotions and even to express those emotions to God.

I was originally going to use this Psalm as a secondary text, but then, as I spent time with it this week and as I studied it, it really started to resonate deep within me. Now, bear with me a moment, but I came to truly appreciate this psalm when I went through it in Hebrew. Poets like to use words with layers of meaning and words that play off one another. The Psalmist was no exception. I’m not going to turn this into a Hebrew lesson :) but there are some things that the English translation just plain loses.

If you look closely at your Bibles, you’ll notice that verses 1, 3a, 5, and 7 have “the Lord” in small caps while verses 2, 3b, and 6 have “the Lord” in regular text. The poet is using 2 different ways of referring to God. The first one, the one rendered in small caps in your Bible, is the Name Of God. Somewhere along the line, Jewish Rabbis had decided that you couldn’t take the name of God in vain (that’s number 3 on the big list); anyway, you can’t take the name of God in vain if you never say it. To honor this concern, Christian translators have usually followed their example. So name of God, YHWH, is shown in your Bibles as Lord in small caps. You can distinguish it from the regular word for lord if you know what you’re looking for, but as translated, it won’t be spoken and inadvertently taken in vain, and most of the time it doesn’t make a big difference in reading the passage. But in this psalm, it’s important to note that the poet is going back and forth between the personal, intimate name of God and God’s title as Lord.

It’s like being on a first name basis with the Queen: she may be Lizzie, Mom, or Grandmum in private; but never forget that she is “Your Majesty”.

The use of the title of “Lord” for God reminds us that we’re dealing with the great Lord and creator of the universe to whom we owe our very existence. The personal name reminds us that we worship a God who desires relationship, who has granted us the right to come and call Him by name. By alternating between these two forms of address, the Psalmist reminds us of the power and majesty, as well as the love and approachability of God. By holding these extremes in tension, the poet squelches our human tendency to consider God as EITHER forceful and distant OR loving and manageable. So, a little later, when the poet speaks of our sin and God’s forgiveness, it is with a full understanding that it is loving grace that allows us to approach; it is also what allows the poet to tell the rest of the congregation in v7 and 8 that God has the power and will to redeem us from all our iniquities. God’s not going to let our sins keep him away from his children and God has the wherewithal to make that happen.

So, now that we have permission to come before the Holy One of Israel, what is the occasion under which we approach? “Out of the depths I cry to thee”, the depths were chaos, frequently used to refer to the realm of the dead, a metaphor for great distress, even unto death. That’s where the poet is, in distress and chaos, basically in a place he considers like hell. We’ve most of us been in a similar place. You know how that feels. So what does the poet do? Does he throw a pity party? Does he tell God it’s unfair? No. In verse 5 he says “I will wait for YHWH”. That sounds rather bland and boring. Not “send down your angels to rescue me NOW!” not “I will climb out of the pit” just, “I will wait for YHWH”. For this we read the psalm? To watch a man sit at a bus stop? But there is a strong lesson here. The Hebrew word for “wait” and for “hope” are the same. There are 2 different words used in verse 5, the first translated “wait”, and the second “hope” but either Hebrew word could be translated either way. The Hebrew language doesn’t separate Hope in God from Waiting for God. The Hebrew word means to wait with expectation. We know it’s coming, we’re just _waiting_ for it. The big difference in the two words is that the first means more to endure, still with expectation; and the second is used only for faith in God.

So now lets look at that again, the poet’s life is in the pits. But he’s going to endure, to persevere, putting his expectation in the word of God. But what does that mean, God’s “Word”? Well, this side of the reformation, our first thought is scripture, and the Torah would have been part of the poet’s thought, but he certainly didn’t just mean the words on the page. Here again we have a Hebrew word that just doesn’t translate well into English. The word here means word/event/deed. Inseparable. What you say IS what you do, total integrity. After all, this is the God who spoke creation into existence. word/event/deed are all one. The poet is choosing to trust God in the context of everything God has said/promised/done for His people. It wasn’t just “how does my personal life look right now” it was, “How has the Holy One of Israel dealt with his chosen people through history?” In other words, to wait in expectation on the Lord is to quit asking “why?” or “why me?” or “when will it be over?”, and start looking at WHO is in control.

Who is in control? Verse 7 reminds us the primary attribute of God on which the poet was depending. Not omnipotence, omniscience, immutability or any of those other concepts we actually inherited from Greek religions. No, the primary attribute of God to the Jewish people and therefore to the poet was hesed. Hesed – it has been translated here as steadfast love, others translations use loyalty, goodness, kindness; the KJV uses lovingkindness (one word), others use fidelity, or occasionally, mercy. The most important thing in putting our trust in God is God’s love and care for us. And God’s history of care that shows us God is reliable.

The Israelites used to rehearse their history of salvation all the time. Just to say “the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob” was to recall the stories of each of these men and their interactions with God. Many prophets begin with, “The Lord who brought you out of Egypt” – the Jews are admonished to never forget the history of God’s work with them. And the story of God’s work with the Jews is the story of God’s steadfast love.

Puritans were encouraged to keep a diary to examine the work of God in their lives. Each person examined their spiritual growth and insights, but they also used these diaries to record answers to prayer and the places where they saw God’s hand moving in their life – what they called “the providences of God”. Then, they would go back and read these diaries, some would even underline and dog-ear passages to find them more readily, and these Puritans would use the diaries to bolster their faith when life was rough. As one Puritan woman recorded (in her diary of course!): “My own experience has ever proved to me that thou art the God that has fed me my whole life long, the God that didst never leave me upon the mount of difficulty, but always appeared and wrought deliverance”[i] The diaries served much like a family photo album or memory book and the woman was like a child going through the stories with her father, recalling all the times he’s been there for her. Not abstract stories of someone else’s life, but clear, first hand experiences from her own. She remembers all the times the Father has been there and she knows he will continue to be. She didn’t dwell on the bad things happening in her life, she didn’t look for someone else to blame, she moved forward in life, remembering the God that would see her through. She remembered her personal experience of God’s hesed, God’s steadfast love, and she could trust that it would continue – even if it didn’t make sense now. Let’s look at that psalm again, with what we know now:

¹ Out of the depths I cry to you, O YHWH.

² Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications!

³ If you, O YHWH, should account for iniquities;
Lord, who could stand?

⁴ But there is forgiveness with you, thus you may be revered.

⁵ I endure for YHWH, my soul perseveres,
and in his word and deed I will hope.

⁶ my soul waits for the Lord
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.

⁷ O Israel, hope in YHWH!
For with YHWH there is steadfast love,
and with him is great power to redeem.

⁸ It is he who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.

There we are. Life isn’t always what we want or what we think it ought to be. We can’t truthfully say we understand why rotten things happen. Some times we don’t like the place we’re in. But we remember WHO is in control; who is the Lord of the universe and of our lives. And we can remember what God has done for us in the past. In the midst of the depths, when life doesn’t make sense, I will endure, trusting the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; the God who gave his son to redeem our iniquities, I will trust God to do what is right in the context of all humanity and all time. That’s not always an easy thing to do. That’s why we remember all of God’s providences like the Puritans did. By remembering the past providences of God we are free to trust our lives to him even when we don’t understand. We’re free to say “I don’t know what’s going on, but I know I can trust God to come through this time, because I remember how God has come through for me before.”

Thanks be to God.

---

[i] http://books.google.com/books?id=z-MxJ4iFqi8C&pg=PA33&lpg=PA33&dq=puritan+providence+diary&source=web&ots=tM0LQu8XAF&sig=yM4V1lC1GiykjT38JvmBYN6FmnM&hl=en#PPA32,M1

Sermon on feeding the 5000 (John 6:1-4 with Eph 3:7-21)

This sermon is not the one I worked on all week. This is the one that rewrote itself Saturday afternoon. It is something they needed to hear, but nothing something I would have planned to say as a pulpit supply; but I am told the Spirit was in it's delivery. I came out thinking it never really came together, but many who heard it say it did. God is good. The Spirit does indeed have our backs in the pulpit. This is also (of course) not exactly as delivered.

Jesus has been performing miracles and teaching to the crowds, but he has pulled away with his disciples to get in a little teaching time with them, away from the crowd. There are still many things they need to know, things he can’t say in front of the crowds, so they go up a mountain to get away. But that isn’t to be. The crowds have had a taste of miracles and they want to see more. They’re intrigued by this teacher, this prophet, and they wonder if he could be the promised one. Remember, Israel is occupied by the Romans, and they want to be free. Civil and religious writings tell us there were many messiah pretenders in the time before and after Jesus; most advocating revolt against the political power of Rome. The crowd wonders if this might be the one. So they follow.

It is also important to know the time of year. Our passage tells us that it was close to Passover. Passover – when the Jews celebrate liberation from Egyptian domination. When God caused the plagues and parted the Red Sea, then cared for them for forty years in the desert feeding them miraculously every day as God rained down bread from heaven. The great Prophet Moses had told them that one day there would come a prophet like him. These people’s imaginations were looking for that promised “prophet like Moses”. Jesus had just said (in verse 5:46 ) “If you believed Moses, you would believe me, for he wrote about me.”

Maybe this miracle worker was the prophet Moses wrote about. Maybe they’d finally be free of the Romans! So they follow and crowd around. But it’s getting late. And no one has food. And there are no parkway plazas or fast food restaurants to stop in. As a matter of fact, the crowd is bigger than most villages nearby. They wouldn’t have resources to feed that many extra people. So what is Jesus to do? Ah, a prime teaching moment. He turns and asks the disciples.

Jesus has set up the context. It is Passover time. He spoke of the fact that Moses wrote about him. What presumption! And they’ve gone up the mountain to receive teaching – like Moses went up Mt Sinai. Now the hungry masses need to be fed like God fed them at Moses’ request when they were in the wilderness. Jesus is gearing up for the punch line. To see if the disciples have started to understand what he’s been teaching. Jesus turns and asks the disciples. He knows what he’s going to do. And he knows He can do it. but do the disciples get it? Jesus turns and asks the disciples.

In the other gospels, the disciples recommend that Jesus send the people away to find their own food. Now there’s a solution. Punt. Walk away from the entire predicament. “Not my problem. They brought it on themselves when they didn’t pack a lunch. Send them away, Let’s get back to that special teaching you had in mind, Jesus.” They chose to ignore the plan.

Jesus didn’t accept that proposal. That wasn’t His plan. Jesus turns and asks the disciples.

Phillip sees the enormity, the impossibility of the task. It would take more than 6 months’ wages to buy enough bread to give them a little, let alone actually FEED them– and that’s assuming they could even find that much to buy. Phillip sees all the reasons it won’t work and starts listing them. He laughs at the plan.

Jesus didn’t accept that, either. He had a plan, he knew what he was going to do. Jesus turns and asks the disciples.

Andrew doesn’t understand either, but he trusts Jesus to know what’s going on. So, he says, here’s a kid with his lunch. Just enough for the one child. “what is that among so many?” Maybe he was discouraged, maybe he was hopeful, maybe he was daring Jesus; we don’t know. But Andrew chose to give the information Jesus to see what he would do with it.

NOW Jesus acts.

of course, Jesus could have done it without the child’s lunch. In the temptation stories, Satan tempts Jesus to turn stones into bread, so he must have been able to. So Jesus could have taken that route. But he didn’t. God, throughout history has worked primary through people. Even parting the Red Sea, God had Moses hold up his staff. God doesn’t do all the work while we sit back and watch. He expects us to play our part, to make our contribution.

Ah, there’s the rub. We’re supposed to make our contribution and there are some common mistakes we make when God asks for our contribution.

The first mistake we tend to make is when, like Phillip or the other disciples, we try to take over the plan. God asks us to play a role and we try to come in and direct the play. "Lord, you can’t really mean THAT, this would be so much more practical." Or "This is how we do things here, so just move over and I’ll show you." "God, this thing I’m comfortable with would be sooo much better than what you’re planning on doing."

Sounds kinda silly when I put it that way, but come on, be honest. We’ve all done it sometime.

Sometimes we do this here in the church, because, we think the plan is to be and do what we’ve always been and done even though the neighborhood and the world and even we are very different; we’ve quit listening and we’re working on old instructions. Sometimes we think the plan for our church is to be just like that church down the road, as if different churches and different people didn’t have different jobs assigned in the kingdom. In either case, we come to God with a list of what WE think our programs and outreach should be instead of listening for God’s plan. Sometimes instead of listening to God, we listen to what the media and culture tell us church should be. We end up being like the disciples who didn’t want to participate, or like Phillip who just criticized the plan.

God knows what God is going to do: here at [our church], and in each of your lives. Just like Jesus knew. He asked the disciples as a test. And they didn’t do too well. Hopefully we’ll do better; because if [our church] is to be a healthy Body of Christ it won’t get there by following our plan. Not by following [Pastor]’s plan or even session’s plan. We have to follow God’s plan; get our plans in line with his, then we will succeed -- because we got on board with the winning plan.

A second mistake we make when God asks for our contribution is by withholding what we’ve got. Not giving what he asks of us. Maybe that’s from selfishness. After all It’s MINE, I earned it! Sunday Morning is my only time to sleep in, I deserve that.

And what does scripture say about that? In Psalms, God says that “every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.” God created this earth and everything in it and on it belongs to Him. You are given the responsibility to watch over some of God’s world (and some of God’s children); but you’re just the steward, the caretaker, not the owner. James tells us “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father”. And Job told us “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” And don’t forget the Parable of the rich man who built extra warehouses to store all his wealth. “God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

Everything we have, and everything we are belongs to God. Ever wonder why we use the term, “I gave my life to Christ”? He has a plan to use you, your life, this church, but he asks for your willing contribution.

Sometimes we withhold our contribution because we fear it is so little. Look back at our storey, Barley loaves and fishes – dinner rolls and anchovies (the fish would have been pickled so they didn’t spoil, and little fish like anchovies were common in that area) – a poor boy’s box lunch. And look what Jesus did with that!

Another guy who called himself the least of men, the greatest of sinner, was described by one contemporary writer as “a man little of stature, thin-haired upon the head, crooked in the legs, of good state of body, with eyebrows joining, and nose somewhat hooked.” This man didn’t deserve anything, had little to commend himself, but became the great apostle to the Gentiles, speaking in the great Greek halls of learning, because Paul gave what he had to the Lord.

So, instead of complaining about what we do not have, or using it as an excuse for not following God’s plan, we need to give thanks to God for what we do have, and God will make it go farther; just like those barley loaves and fishes.

I went to a concert on Friday night, and heard a song about this passage by a man who, 13 years ago, was given 6 months to live. After surgery to remove the brain tumor, he says he was reading the parable and thought, “pretty good for 5 loaves and 2 fishes”, so he asked God “what can you do with a brain tumor and a guitar?” the answer: 12 year (so far) recording and concert career; a chance to tell people all over the world about the hope he has in Jesus, even though his cancer has recurred.

But letting go is scary. Letting go of our plans and searching for God’s plan is scary. But we are free to give because Jesus loves us; and perfect love casts out fear. If we know the all-powerful God loves us and wants the best for us, we don’t need to protect our own interests. Sometimes it hard because we don’t understand, because, by human standards, things are NOT going well. But still, as Christians, we place our trust: our lives, our talents and our money in the hands of a God who loves and cares for us.

A God who dwells in our hearts through faith. As Paul says, “I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

Filled with the Holy Spirit, we can let go of our own agendas and get on board with God’s plan to be the people and the church He wants us to be. All the different gifts and skills needed to accomplish God’s plans for [our church] are here in [our church]. But God leaves it to us whether we will bring them forward. God knows there’s not enough in what we bring to accomplish his plan, but God who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, will multiply our gifts to fulfill his plans. Look what he can do with 5 loaves and 2 fishes, or with a guitar and a brain tumor, and who on earth knows what he will do with your gifts.

Graduation

Today I will graduate from seminary.

Three years ago we sold our house and moved 2 states away so I could go to seminary. I quit my job/career and DH took a part time job at a grocery store to help pay bills.

It's been a long road, with health issues, and the fear of returning to academia alongside kids who were born after I got my undergraduate degree.

Today I graduate. Health issues are (largely) resolved and the job search has begun. Soon (God willing) we will sell this house and pack everything up to move to another state and start life over again. The kitties are now 9 and 11, I'm pretty sure they won't like that part. The humans are 46 and 57, they're not thrilled either.

Next week we head out, for a final (God willing) visit with CPM and then to Atlanta for the face to face at the Big Tent event, so I can convince someone to take the time to see if God is calling this first call, middle aged woman to their church.

But today, I graduate. A master of divinity. Yeah, right. :)

Vacation Friday Five

Mary Beth over at RevGalBlogPals says: Let's think about VACATIONS! I certainly am!

1) What did your family do for vacations when you were a child? Or did you have stay-cations at home?
I went to summer camp some years and we did family vacations alternate years.

The biggest was Dad deciding we would fly to Vegas, rent a car, and see the west. I think my brother was 13 and I was 11. Yeah. That was fun. not. Although we do have pictures of Dad giving a burro water from a "for radiators only" tank in death valley (which we drove through with AC blazing despite the warning signs).

Then there were the trips to Dad's conferences which he turned into family vacations. It worked for me. I got to go to the Bahamas, to Disney World (the year it opened!), Sanibel Island...

2) Tell us about your favorite vacation ever:
Probably the 10 day trip to Ireland where DH and I just rented a car and drove where we wanted, staying in B&Bs using the coupons that were part of the package. Each evening we would decide what to do for the next day. It was great.

3) What do you do for a one-day or afternoon getaway...is there a place nearby that you escape to on a Saturday afternoon/other day off?
I do not. I need this, I just never found it here.

4) What's your best recommendation for a full-on vacation near you...what would you suggest to someone coming to your area? (Near - may be defined any way you wish!)
I have no idea. I moved here three years ago for seminary, and have seen little. Need to figure out the touristy things for next week with the folks are in town for graduation! (although the amusement park is probably out of the picture with them)

5) What's your DREAM VACATION?
Mountains, River, Kayak, hammock, good books.

Bonus: Any particularly awful (edited to add: or hilarious) vacation stories that you just have to tell? ("We'll laugh about this later..." maybe that time is now!)
Well, on the aforementioned trip out west, my family had our first taste of fresh cherries from a roadside stand in CA. We'd never had fresh cherries because they didn't truck them to our part of the states back then. Well, the whole family enjoyed quite a number of those cherries. We didn't make much mileage the next day, but we found lots of interesting rest areas!

taking a break...

Songbird, over at RevGalBlogPals offers us the following Friday Five:

Where we live, it's February School Vacation Week!

Yes, that's an odd thing, a vacation extending President's Day. But it's part of our lives here. Some people go South or go skiing, but we always stay home and find more humble amusements.

In that spirit, I offer this Taking a Break Friday Five. Tell us how you would spend:

1. a 15 minute break -- tea, earl grey, hot.

2. an afternoon off -- wandering the mall. Window shopping, just getting out and moving. No money to spend, but at least away from the desk and the papers!


3. an unexpected free day -- Heard a sermon in class on the unexpected blessing of a snow day; but snow days don't allow for much more than maybe -- shocking -- non-class reading! I seem to remember something called "novels." At this point that would be quite novel.



4. a week's vacation -- down to best place on earth! We are going to get to the river in the early summer. Hopefully I'll also be interviewing in the area.



5. a sabbatical -- I think I am just sort of completing a 3-year sabbatical. Some of my seminary friends point out that in another 3 months we'll be done! I, however, point out that in 3 months, we'll be unemployed (at least most of us will be for at least a few months).

Pets

Sophia at RevGalBlogPalssays: My son's tiny beloved lizard, Elf, is looking and acting strange this week. His skin/scales are quite dark, and he is lethargic. We are adding vitamin drops to his lettuce and spinach and hoping and praying that he is just getting ready to shed his skin--but it's too soon to tell. Others in the ring have also been worried about beloved pets this week. And, in the saddest news of all, Songbird has had to bid farewell to her precious Molly, the amazing dog who is well known to readers of her blog as a constant sacrament of God's unconditional love.

So in memory of Molly, and in honor of all the beloved animal companions who bless our lives: tell us about the five most memorable pets you have known.

1) Creslin -- my love kitty. He would cuddle and purr and climb on your head to do it, especially if you had a towel on your head out of the shower. Problem was he was a 13lb lanky cat. That's a lot of cat to wear as a turban. We lost him at only 6 to congestive heart failure. (named for a character in an LE Modesitt novel)

2) Niniane -- So frightened when I first got her from a "free to good home" ad. Solid grey with a small white clerical tab. I named her after the "not quite" priestess in Mists of Avalon (which I had just read). In the 16 or so years I had her she became really lovey -- on her terms, of course. She was nearly blind and deaf when we had to let her go.

3) Pavarotti -- Mom's cat. You can guess what he did the entire first night they had him home. This was a BIG cat (orange tabby). We called him mountain lion. One day he went out the cat door and came back in and Mom heard a strange noise in the family room. She went in there and Pav had brought in, through the kitty door, .... the neighbor's teacup poodle. I guess Pav thought that thing was too small to be out alone. Mom had to take the little doggie (perfectly safe, Pav had grabbed it by the scruff) back to the neighbor.

4) Mister -- Big white kitty: 1/4 persian; 1/4 manx; and his father was from a nice neighborhood. He had the persian fur and tail, the manx hind legs; He was 36 inches from tip of nose to tip of tail (I measured). He could put his nose on the counter while you were fixing his dinner. I once saw him treed by the neighbor's (dumb) german shepherd who then proceeded to bark treed at him for an hour or so. Until Mister just jumped out of the tree onto him. Dumb dog never chased my cat again. Mister was also known to bring home baby opossums and drop them on your pillow as presents.

5) Dawg -- A big yellow dog that just took up at our house, Mom wouldn't let us name her, because we weren't keeping her. We didn't have pets. (The Vet spelled it this way because they wouldn't just write "dog") Well she stayed, at least until she had her pups and weaned them, and then she left as she had come.