Bureaucracy and checking boxes
OK. I know there's a reason for the process. I recognize most of what the forms codify, but if they really wanted to know where I need to grow and where I've grown and who I am and whom I'm becoming, then wouldn't they have called, or emailed, or snail-mailed, or otherwise communicated in some way over the past 12 months? So it's really hard to take this seriously.
I must fill out the form because it's a required part of the process. But there's no trust, no relationship with these people so I won't be "real" with them. After all, it goes in my permanent folder. So I check off the boxes and say enough to get through, but not enough to give a foothold to questions. And we'll meet, and they'll give me additional "once size fits no one" goals to work on for the next year, and we'll go our separate ways for another 12 months.
What is this process teaching me? Oh, yeah, How to survive in a church bureaucracy. We can save authentic nurturing community for the webring.